Woman’s hour
I failed to get out of bed in time to have
breakfast with my flatmate today.
The-not-being-able-to-get-out-of-bed thing is a slippery slope. I’ve definitely been getting up later
the last few days. In fairness, I
was on the internet absurdly until 2 last night. A cocktail of buzzfeeds and even lesser sites that I have
little to show for. Lesser than
buzzfeed? Jaysus.
I almost got sucked into it again this
morning… luckily I came downstairs in time for Woman’s Hour. I cleaned the kitchen listening to
Marion Keyes talking about depression.
She was very helpful. I had
previously written her off as a writer of chick lit – I maybe read Sushi For
Beginners 10 years ago – she was in a mental pile marked ‘not someone with
something I need to hear’. Bad
isn’t it? She is just as complex
as anyone. I am ashamed at my
arrogance for having judged her as shallow, particularly given my own vacuous
feasting last night on unpalatable internet slop. One ‘news’ article didn’t seem to know who Glenda Jackson
was and bemoaned her lack of twitter.
Who gives a shit?!?
There is something peculiarly poisonous
about internet on handheld devices.
It is a buffet where nothing is particularly satisfying, but it’s just
stimulating enough to keep you at the trough. There is basic enough psychology to it.
BF Skinner, the daddy of rats in mazes,
worked on conditioning. In one set
of experiments, rats in boxes would press a lever for food rewards. If the number of presses before a
reward is dispensed is predictable (always 1, always 10, always 200), then rats
learn to only press the lever when they want food. However, when the number of presses required is variable
(sometimes 1, sometimes 10, sometimes 200), rats press the lever a whole lot
more. They also take longer to
stop pressing the lever when rewards are over. Rewards on the internet are similarly unpredictable –
sometimes you’ll have a facebook like or an email, or if you’re cruising
articles sometimes you’ll find one that is genuinely worth noting. Most of the time you’re just pressing
that lever waiting. Maybe a
declaration is in order. I am not
a fucking rat. I am going to
remind myself of this every time I reach for my phone unnecessarily, or get
distracted when trying to do something worthwhile. Fucking internet.