I am tired of suffering at the hands of English imperialism - You might not be able to tell by my accent, so brutal has been the eroding of my culture, but I am in fact a native of the Danelaw and have had enough of the imperialism of Wessex!
Our once proud land has been robbed of its heritage, coal and gravy and enslaved by a 1000 year enslaught of corrupt governments, false religions and The National Lottery.
I have not come to your capital to fight though, but as a merchant of peace. I fear for you and see not the honesty in your trades of ‘brand manangement’ (Ccbrandchch Managechment in my native dane – literally ‘font whisperer’) and think you may be humbled by our noble trades of sheepherdessing, hill climbing and bingo calling.
During an economic climate of massive unemployment in my homeland, I have marvelled at your ability to create committees-full of jobs to promote hair-dryers and digital television (Cchdgdchhd in my native dane – literally ‘soufflé’) amongst Wessexian counterparts.
I’m calling for a ban on Wessexism in the work place, and a devolved parliament for the Danelaw.
cCchhcGgdgdgdghgdhdh (Dane for ‘Who’s with me’?)
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