4th November 2014

Sometimes we are just sad.

There is recent article on the guardian website called ’10 easy steps to happier living’.  It’s quite bouncy, nurturing and contains good advice like ‘exercise’, ‘look after others’ and ‘have goals’.  No shit.   Whilst I think all their points are sound advice and not that hard to do (you should do them), when it comes to happiness and sadness, one thing the tone of this self-help list is not making room for is the complexity of happiness and sadness.  Sometimes, we are just sad.  Really fucking sad.  There is so much sad stuff happening (poverty, broken dreams, human cruelty) it would be unnatural not to be affected by it.  But, we should be OK with that.

If you are drawn to read a list telling you ways to be happier, you are probably a little bit sad.  Whilst, I’d like to reiterate that I think it’s a positive list full of good advice, there is also a forced optimism to it that I usually associate with people trying to sell me shit.  It contributes to a culture that we should put a brave face on things, or that if we are sad there is something our life is missing.  I think just a little more nuance to it would allow those who are a sad a little more dignity.   Being able to admit that you are sad and having other people do the same might make you feel a bit less lonely and, oddly, is probably also an important step to happier living.  In fact, I might even put it at number 1. 

Step 1 to happiness is to be sad.  Really fucking sad.  Put on some sad music and look at a sad picture.  Sob until you make weird noises and the snot flows and then you can feel the sunshine and know that beside the tears on your cheeks there are tiny rainbows, you beautiful, sad freak.