6th November 2014

Woman’s hour

I failed to get out of bed in time to have breakfast with my flatmate today.  The-not-being-able-to-get-out-of-bed thing is a slippery slope.  I’ve definitely been getting up later the last few days.  In fairness, I was on the internet absurdly until 2 last night.  A cocktail of buzzfeeds and even lesser sites that I have little to show for.  Lesser than buzzfeed?  Jaysus. 

I almost got sucked into it again this morning… luckily I came downstairs in time for Woman’s Hour.  I cleaned the kitchen listening to Marion Keyes talking about depression.  She was very helpful.  I had previously written her off as a writer of chick lit – I maybe read Sushi For Beginners 10 years ago – she was in a mental pile marked ‘not someone with something I need to hear’.  Bad isn’t it?  She is just as complex as anyone.  I am ashamed at my arrogance for having judged her as shallow, particularly given my own vacuous feasting last night on unpalatable internet slop.  One ‘news’ article didn’t seem to know who Glenda Jackson was and bemoaned her lack of twitter.  Who gives a shit?!?

There is something peculiarly poisonous about internet on handheld devices.  It is a buffet where nothing is particularly satisfying, but it’s just stimulating enough to keep you at the trough.  There is basic enough psychology to it. 

BF Skinner, the daddy of rats in mazes, worked on conditioning.  In one set of experiments, rats in boxes would press a lever for food rewards.  If the number of presses before a reward is dispensed is predictable (always 1, always 10, always 200), then rats learn to only press the lever when they want food.  However, when the number of presses required is variable (sometimes 1, sometimes 10, sometimes 200), rats press the lever a whole lot more.  They also take longer to stop pressing the lever when rewards are over.  Rewards on the internet are similarly unpredictable – sometimes you’ll have a facebook like or an email, or if you’re cruising articles sometimes you’ll find one that is genuinely worth noting.  Most of the time you’re just pressing that lever waiting.  Maybe a declaration is in order.  I am not a fucking rat.  I am going to remind myself of this every time I reach for my phone unnecessarily, or get distracted when trying to do something worthwhile.  Fucking internet.